You�re welcome to share this with others, but please...no changes or profit. Contact me before publishing or archiving ([email protected]). WARNING: there are a couple words in here that gave AOL the willies, but I�d give it an overall PG rating. Gentle feedback greatly appreciated. Flames used to cook weenies (like those sending them).
DISCLAIMER: All I own is a great big mortgage and an old minivan with 150k miles on it! Paramount has all the really good stuff like RB�s address and phone number. I�m glad they let me play with their characters. Wish they�d let me play with their star....
StarFleet regulations. Protocol. Kathryn sighed and rolled over in bed, pulling the sheet back over her. She resolved to force her mind to go blank so she could steal another hour or so of sleep before she had to get up.
As she drifted off, her previous dream started again, unbidden. In it, she laughed, feeling the cool tickle of summer grass under her feet, the breeze of Indiana on her face. She felt the warm reassurance of his hand in hers, his body�s warmth beside her, his gentle kisses from full soft lips on her neck. She looked in his eyes, love radiating from both of them, and jolted awake.
Chakotay. Her heart raced. Damn, nearly every night now he came to her in her dreams, making her deal with feelings she really hadn�t acknowledged before.
StarFleet regulations. Protocol. Shit! For three years, she�d used them as a mantra against anything that threatened to divert her attention away from duty. Now they were useless. Even her animal guide had laughed and scurried away the last time she�d tried to ask about the subject.
It wasn�t that she still pined for Mark. That was over even if they reached the Alpha quadrant tomorrow. And it had nothing to do with Chakotay�s Maquis background. He�d proven himself Fleet to his very core, with just a bit of renegade thrown in to keep it interesting.
Interesting. That�s an understatement, Kathryn thought. How about fascinating, intoxicating, intriguing. And incredibly attractive. She wasn�t blind or made of stone, regardless of what some ensigns might think. She was a passionate, intense woman, with all the same reactions anyone else had. She�d just learned to control and sublimate them. But they were always just under the surface.
And damn it, he knew it. More than once there had been slips or moments of forgotten protocol. And New Earth. Another two weeks and it would have been too late. As it was, she�d had the fleeting desire to tell Tuvok to go away. Being stranded hadn�t been the hardship many of her crew imagined.
Kathryn shook her head. Enough! The past was the past. She couldn�t change it, but she did have to decide what to do about the present.
She loved Chakotay. It was really that simple. Simple my foot, she thought with a snort. But with a sigh, she realized she had accepted it as a fact. Yes, she was in love with Chakotay.
And she knew Chakotay loved her. He�d made that clear enough on New Earth, and every once in a while, she�d catch him watching her with such a look of affection....
Kathryn chuckled. The senior cadets at StarFleet Academy should get this scenario for their Command-track Ethics final. Female StarFleet captain and her StarFleet-turned Maquis-back to StarFleet First Officer fall in love 70,000 light years from home with no command or resupply support outside their ship. Should fraternization rules still hold? Is protocol being breached? Could such a relationship exist without negative impact on the crew? It was a Kobayashi Maru of the heart. She could just hear the heated discussions that it would cause.
She got out of bed and padded to the bathroom, shedding her nightgown as she went. Might as well take a shower and get dressed, she thought wryly. She certainly wasn�t going to get any more sleep.
Ten minutes later, she stood in front of the mirror brushing out her hair, already in uniform. She started to twist it up into it�s usual bun, but stopped. Instead, she quickly twisted the sides, pulling it back into a soft but professional ponytail, secured with a clip. Captain Janeway grinned at her reflection. In for a penny...
Kathryn Janeway was nothing if she wasn�t decisive. She knew now what was going to happen in general if not the specifics. Her goal was to find a way to let Kathryn have a life without the Captain violating too many protocols. She laughed to herself. That and finding a stable wormhole to the Alpha quadrant and inspiring quadrant-wide peace. And all, preferably, before lunch.
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As she entered the mess hall, she nearly collided with her First Officer. She knew he�d already been up for a while, checking the Delta shift�s logs, ensuring any unresolved issues were taken care of before she had to deal with them. He was more than just competent. He was the best XO she�d ever seen. He knew every square inch of this ship, knew its capabilities as well as she did, and he had an uncanny ability to monitor the pulse of the crew, to know their thoughts, their feelings, their worries.
All this and a superior tactical officer, too. She knew from his records that he�d actually taught tactics at the Academy for a year. The Academy didn�t have run-of-the-mill teachers, only the best and brightest. And in some of the battles they�d been in on this voyage, she�d seen his skills at work, blending Starfleet training and Maquis maneuvers with natural instinct. He�d even won points with Tuvok by his willingness to program Maquis moves into Voyager�s computers, thus giving Starfleet new information. He had done it to increase Voyager�s defense abilities, but the outcome was the same.
Janeway and Chakotay quickly grabbed each other�s arms to prevent a collision. With a twinkle in his eye, Chakotay motioned for her to proceed. �Pleasure running into you this morning, Captain.� he quipped.
She grinned. �Don�t you know it�s not nice to tackle a lady first thing in the morning.�
�Sorry.� he said. Then he dropped the volume of his voice and chuckled, �When is the proper time?�
Wicked man. It was going to be one of those mornings, she thought with a smile. Well, let�s see if he�ll rise to the bait.
�Careful, Commander, if you move too quickly around here, you could end up with egg on your face.�
The Commander tried to swallow the laughter that threatened to burst from him. My, she was in a mood this morning! He loved sparring with her like this, but she usually didn�t do it in public, standing in line within earshot of others. The innuendoes they salvoed at each other were often a bit risqu�, and he knew there were rumors about them as it was.
And when it came to rumors, Voyager was about the size of a shuttle.
They moved up to the serving table and looked at the choices available. Close behind her, Chakotay murmured, �I think I know what I want.�
�So do I,� she smiled, �but stick to the printed menu.�
Chakotay feigned complete innocence. �I was going to order a Number Three with extra cheese. What were you thinking of, Captain?�
He was rewarded with a quick blush of her cheeks. �Never mind.� she said, moving quickly to sit in one of the empty seats at a table with B�Elanna and Tom.
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The day was busy with the bridge crew participating in a series of systems checks and Chakotay trying to reconcile conflicting inventory records. Offen, though, he caught the captain watching him. When he did, she would just smile and quickly return to her work. Towards the end of the day, he shifted in his chair and leaned towards the Captain. �Join me at Sandrine�s tonight, Captain?� he asked.
�I might consider it,� she said coyly.
He smiled at her and nodded. �About 2000 hrs?�
She nodded in reply. Then she caught a glimpse of her conn officer with a grin from ear to ear. Oh, God, she groaned to herself, it probably hadn�t been the smartest move to let Paris hear them setting up what could obviously be considered a date. She sighed. She bet the crowd at Sandrine�s would be larger than normal thanks to Tom �Have you Heard� Paris.
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That evening at Sandrine�s Kathryn and Chakotay laughed and had dinner then played a game of pool. Now they were swaying together to a slow dance that was a favorite of hers. She could feel the warmth and comfort of Chakotay�s body against her and snuggled closer. She wasn�t sure how to tell him about her change in attitude about their relationship. What if he didn�t feel the same way after all her stalling? What if he wasn�t comfortable with breaching protocol? She suddenly became aware of something. Captain Kathryn Janeway, commander of the Federation Starship Voyager, first in her class, award winning scientist, calm, confident negotiator, was scared. Absolutely tongue tied! Over a man! She�d had lovers and relationships before, she chastised herself. Why did she feel so different about this man?
Holding her, Chakotay mulled over the day�s events. All day she had seemed different, more open and flirtatious. And now, he felt her snuggle into his arms! Well, he certainly wasn�t going to argue--he tightened his arms around her and felt her nestle up under his chin. Suddenly, she tilted her chin and, hidden from the other�s around them, kissed him on the neck.
Chakotay caught his breath, afraid to believe what had just happened. Then he felt her on his neck again, but this time, instead of a tender kiss, it was a gentle nip. His mind raced. Yes, he was awake, so this wasn�t a dream. No, she hadn�t been drinking any intoxicants. And no, there was no mistaking what had just happened.
He pulled away enough to look in her eyes. What he saw made his heart skip a beat. Her face was filled with open affection and desire. Her radiant smile answered his unasked questions.
�Let�s get out of here� he whispered in her ear. She nodded and took his hand, following him through the crowd and out the holodeck door. Neither noticed the eyes of some of their senior crew observing their departure.
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Tom, B�Elanna and Harry were the last to leave Sandrine�s, noting that they were all due on duty in less than four hours. But their commanding officers had definitely given them something to talk about, and they had discussed the issue for the last several hours.
�Come on, Tom, just because they left together doesn�t mean anything,� argued Harry as they left the holodeck.
B�Elanna sighed. �Maybe not, Harry. I mean, we really don�t know. But they both have a thing for each other. They have for a long time. But I don�t know if the Captain would ever let protocol be violated. And beneath it all, Chakotay is Fleet. He knows the regs, too.�
Tom laughed. He knew more than he admitted. He had seen a kiss between the command team one evening during a shore leave. It had been a moonlit night and it had just happened. It was obvious neither had planned it or felt comfortable with it afterwards, but it had been pretty passionate at the time. Still, Tom had been cataloging their interactions for three years. The touches, the flirting. He was pretty sure what had happened this evening. He stopped walking and the other two turned to look at him, questions in their eyes.
�Computer,� Tom grinned, �locate Captain Janeway.�
�The Captain is in her quarters.� replied the system.
�Computer,� he continued, �locate Commander Chakotay.�
�Commander Chakotay is in Captain Janeway�s quarters� came the reply.
Tom saw Harry�s jaw drop and B�Elanna�s surprise as she put it together. Both in the Captain�s quarters at 3 in the morning?
�Computer,� Tom said, putting the final nail in the coffin, �are they asleep?�
�Affirmative.� confirmed the computer.
�Gods,� whispered Harry. �What are we going to do?�
Tom and B�Elanna both shot him looks of exasperation. �We�re not going to do anything, Harry.� said Tom firmly. � We�re also not going to say anything. Ever hear the saying �Discretion is the better part of valor�? We let them decide when to go public, if ever.�
B�Elanna nodded. �We all knew this would probably happen sooner or later. We all care about them both and they deserve to be happy. But I imagine they need some time to get comfortable with this before everyone knows.�
The three of them looked at each other in silent agreement. They would all have to be careful not to slip. It was a hell of a secret to keep, but they owed it to those two.
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The alarm beeped with an annoying consistency, forcing Kathryn to pay it some attention. She shut it off with a swat, then stretched, arching her back. An arm suddenly reached out and scooped her back in.
�Hey, you took away all the warmth,� Chakotay murmured, still half asleep.
Kathryn grinned as she turned towards him for a few more seconds of snuggling. �I took all the warmth? You�re the one who hogs the covers. And besides, we have less than half an hour until our duty shift.�
�How about we just order the rest of the bridge crew to report here today?� he teased.
Janeway elbowed him in the side and rolled out of bed. �Get moving, Commander. I�ve got first dibs on the bathroom. You fix breakfast.�
�Aye, aye, Captain!� he said, then dodged a pillow she sent sailing at him.
In the two months since that night at Sandrine�s, their relationship had blossomed into the richest, most loving relationship either had ever had. They had originally decided to remain discreet until they were sure the relationship was solid. But on a ship Voyager�s size, discreet was a relative term. Tuvok knew--he had traced their communicators to each other�s quarters enough times to figure it out. He had though, surprisingly, been supportive of their choice, seeing it as a positive and stabilizing influence on both of those involved and a logical pairing given the possibly prolonged nature of their voyage. Recently, though, Kathryn and Chakotay�s discussions had centered on how and when to go public, instead of if. They both knew this love was a permanent part of their lives and wanted the ability to rely on each other publicly as well as in private. And besides, they owed it to their crew to be honest.
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Later that morning, Voyager made contact with ships from a nearby Class M planet and were offered a chance to resupply. Janeway gladly agreed and ordered Voyager into orbit around the blue-green planet of Hovin V. After preliminary negotiations, the Voyager crew was offered R&R, including an invitation to a festival set for that evening.
The festival was a welcome change from the stale sameness of the ship. Music wafted through the area and foods of endless variety were available to one and all. Dressed in a casual rose and turquoise dress, Kathryn felt the grass tickle her toes around the edges of her sandals. Beside her, Chakotay stood with his hand touching the small of her back, secretly possessive but within the limits of protocol. She looked at him, feeling a feminine pride in the handsome man she knew was hers alone. She smiled as she recognized the similarities to her dreams in the past.
�Captain, Commander,� called a familiar voice. Janeway and Chakotay turned to see �the three musketeers�--Tom, B�Elanna and Harry--arriving arm in arm, obviously enjoying the evening. Tom carried a large glass of some sort of Hovian drink which was popular because it changed colors every few minutes. �Look, now it�s green. It was pink just a couple of minutes ago.�
�Hmmm,� commented the Captain, �somehow it suits you, Mr. Paris. You three look as though you�re enjoying yourselves.�
B�Elanna grinned, �The people are friendly, the food�s great and there are going to be hand to hand combat challenges later. It sounds like such fun!�
Chakotay and Janeway both laughed as Tom and Harry groaned. �Well, it certainly sounds invigorating. We�re to officiate at the opening of something called a Pui Dos dance in a few minutes.� Janeway winked at Chakotay, �but I�m sure you three have better things to do.�
�Are you kidding,� Paris jumped at the option. �We certainly wouldn�t want to miss out on learning about their social customs, now, would we, Harry.�
Harry picked up on Paris� train of thought right away. �No, no, we certainly should check it out. Right B�Elanna?�
B�Elanna shrugged, �Why not? Maybe we�ll learn something.�
The five of them strolled towards the center of the festival where the ceremonial dance was in preparation. The planet�s governor, a smiling woman named Clanalle, greeted them. Her dress was a beautiful translucent material which changed from white to blue to yellow depending on the angle of the lights around the stage. Behind one ear was pinned a fragrant yellow flower. Janeway had noticed most of the local women had a flower behind their ear. Yellow, like Clanalle�s, pure white or a beautiful robin blue.
Clanalle motioned to Janeway and Chakotay to join her on the dais. As the crowd settled in, she quickly explained their role in the ceremony. �When the music begins,� she explained �we would like for you to join our circle of dancers.� She quickly showed them the steps to a simple circle dance that would be done. Janeway and Chakotay nodded. It was less complicated than many other cultural rituals they had participated in. They took their place and joined the circle of dancers forming on the stage.
As the music started, Janeway and Chakotay moved with the dancers in the circle, passing each other several times before ending up in front of each other as partners for the final part of the dance. When the last notes ended, the crowd cheered and Clanalle motioned for them to join her near the center of the stage.
�We welcome you and your crew to our world. We are pleased to have you as guests and hope you will enjoy your visit. As a token of our friendship, we wish to make you honorary citizens of Hovin. Commander, we present you with this bracelet of woven silk which our men wear as a sign of citizenship. And Captain,� Clanalle said as a young girl came on stage with a basket, �we wish you to wear the flower of womanhood, but I�m afraid I wasn�t sure which color you required.�
Janeway looked puzzled. �Required, Clanalle? I�m afraid I don�t understand.�
Clanalle nodded, �I�m sorry, Captain, I forgot to explain. Which color? The yellow, such as mine, shows one is married. The white, single and without a current suitor. The blue, one who is spoken for, but not yet married. Which color is appropriate for you?�
Kathryn�s mind raced. She glanced at Chakotay who was trying hard not to grin. Big help he was! She also saw The Three Musketeers in the front row, looking about ready to die of laughter. She took a deep breath. Well, they�d talked about how to go public, and you didn�t get much more public than this. Tuvok would probably lecture her later, but it was time to let the cat out of the bag.
She reached into the basket and quickly selected the blue flower, tucking it behind her ear. Her stomach knotted and she took several breaths before daring to look at Chakotay. After all, it wasn�t just her statement. He would be marked as �spoken for� too. She needn�t have worried. The love and joy in his eyes were visible even from six feet away. He made the statement complete by moving towards her and encircling her waist with his arm.
As the crowd cheered for the visitors, Janeway and Chakotay followed Clanalle off the dais and back into the festive crowds. After thanking her for their warm welcome, they turned as she left and faced each other.
�Well, I guess that�s one way of handling the matter,� Chakotay said with a grin. �I think I�ll get some cuttings of those blue flowers for the hydroponics bay. They may be my favorite souvenir of this place.�
Kathryn laughed, �Oh well, I hope we didn�t shock any of the crew too much, though.�
�Shock us?� Tom chuckled as his group walked up. �I�m just glad we don�t have to keep pretending we don�t know. You guys are the worst kept secret on the ship!�
Kathryn and Chakotay stared in surprise. �You knew?� asked Chakotay.
B�Elanna nodded. �The three of us have known for quite a while. The rest of the crew have been putting two and two together for the last month or so. Geez, do you realize you two absolutely glow when you�re in love!�
Kathryn shook her head in amazement. �We thought we were being so discreet.�
"You were, Captain," smiled Harry. "But you've both been so happy since you've been together. You smile more, you come to Sandrine's more, you both just seem more a part of the crew. It's been a very positive change that we couldn't help noticing." He grinned. "You should have gotten together a couple of years ago."
Kathryn and Chakotay looked at each other. Chakotay shook his head, "Well, I guess that also answers the question of whether the crew will accept a relationship between us. If they've known for a month...I haven't noticed any changes in crew efficiency or discipline, have you, Captain?"
�No, Commander, I haven�t.� she admitted. �I think the last ones to accept the situation must have been us!�
Chakotay pulled her close and breathed in the enticing scents of her hair and the blue flower. There would be no more hiding, no more secrets. They could openly be together, commanding Voyager on her journey home. Together as a team, with one heart, one soul.